Greygappers Flee from Lidl….

Greygappers Flee from Lidl….stock-photo-circa-july-gdansk-sign-of-lidl-against-blue-sky-gdansk-lidl-is-german-global-discount-280602578

in embarrassment. As we’re about to leave the lovely little olive town of Cabra we decided we needed just a few essential groceries for survival and so headed the short walk down the road to a very nice Lidl

Unfortunately as is the way when parked on Aires rather than camp sites you can’t always time your ‘movements’ to when you want them- least of all David. So when we were at the checkout David decided a moment had to happen and asked the checkout girl about the aseos, as quite often in supermarkets they are locked.  No, all fine she indicated, excellent we thought not too many people involved then. But for those of you who know David toilet moments aren’t ever quick and rather than bring attention to myself by hanging around the checkout plus the fact that the sun was shining I decided to wait outside.  So we went to exit, but No, not to happen-the very lovely and wonderfully helpful Spanish people had other ideas. First of all our check out girl shouted ‘ No, aseos’ that way pointing towards them and then once having caught the other customers attention they all decided to assist. Toilet obviously being an English word they all seem to know or working on the good old fashion principle of the louder you shout and all join in the more we will understand, we were now 3 checkout queues of customers, and here in Spain they do not adopt the ‘more than 2 in a queue open another till system’ so we had quite a few very helpful Spanish people shouting at us about the toilets and where they were. David sheepishly went into the loo. Fine I thought time for me to exit and have a few sun moments and so headed towards the Salida sign by the tills. Uhm, I thought this doesn’t look like the right exit and so I stopped and attempted to read the sign on door with the push down exit handle.  As I was doing so again a sudden chorus from the same still very helpful staff and customers at the check outs- ‘No, No’- over there with many hands pointing towards the doors we had come in.  So in an attempt to brazen it out I waved at my audience in a ‘Yes, I know’ fashion, I was after all just trying to improve my Spanish with some health and safety reading. I made it outside with no more fuss  and settled down to a longish wait with our shopping. Only after minutes to have David come running out shouting ‘quick lets go’.  ‘Why, why’ I asked what was the problem to a back ground noise of alarm bells ringing, ‘There was no toilet roll so I couldn’t go and now I have just exited through the fire/emergency doors and the alarms are going off- I’m too embarrassed to stay’ D replied grabbing the shopping and running. We exited the car park very quickly just as the 2 local police cars arrived.

Conclusion of the story- we know H&S standards have been met for the emergency doors in Cabra Lidl. David ‘lost’ the moment due to embarrassment and we will never visit that store again, but again just how helpful Spanish people can be when you really don’t want them to be!!.


  1. What’s wrong with the loo in the van? Are you seriously going to go 12 months with no ‘moments’ in the van? You’ll give eventually, everyone does! Then one day you’ll nip into the van loo with folks you have only just met having a drink in the lounge area – just three feet and a thin bit of plywood away.

  2. Mr Nolan , when did a Paddy ever need toilet roll , your old man would have cut up the Irish Times in nice squares , you really have lost your touch , you could have had an Italian. Shower whilst there , pls as it is one of life’s great pleasures , nothing would stop me from dropping the kids off at the pool.

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